To everyone who feels lonely out there.

When your important someone fails you, it does feel very disappointing and despairing. But, if we understand that at the end of the day you are all you’ve got, you may just come to accept this truth earlier than later, for good.

The story goes like this. There is a super typhoon coming this weekend, and some people are already preparing for it by stocking up food at home and taping a big “X” on their windows, etc. Because most likely we won’t be able to leave home to shop for food on the weekend when the typhoon hits us.

Since I live alone in a small studio, my special someone asked if I have stocked up on food, and I said it’s only one day I won’t starve, but what I really need is just him to be there with me, simple. Sadly, this is one thing that he cannot provide because of some family issues.

I was disappointed and I can feel my tears lingering around my eyes when I was on my way home on the subway ride. I feel like this is a simple thing to ask and I am not asking too much, I just want him to keep me company on a bad typhoon day. I expect there will be a lot of loud banging noise with stuff falling down or falling apart on the streets outside, and when in times like that it would be nice to have your special someone by your side.

Now I know the only way for me to feel better is to do some self-talk, to tell myself that at the end, we are all alone and that I must be strong. I need no one, but it is nice to have someone is what I need to tell myself. Relationship is not forever as well, and we must appreciate all the little things and try our best to overlook the negative ones. No one is perfect and everyone comes with baggages of their past, big or small. I will be fine on my own.

It’s September. Not only is this my birthday month but last year this month I got my heart shattered with an incident that I seem to be haunted for. But, it taught me a valuable lesson though, that I shouldn’t rely on anyone not even your special someone. We must develop a strong heart, girls. For times when our most trusted person cannot be there for you when you needed most, you will be the one who pick yourself up.

It may sound sad, but as I was sitting on the subway sad and disappointed, I was also determined to lift myself up again. I can of course continue to sit on that cold metal subway bench and cry my eyes out but if I don’t cheer myself up, no one else can.

Seriously, we are all alone at the end. I had a phone call with my grandmother this afternoon and she was very happy to hear from me. She lives alone because my grandpa passed away years ago and she refuses to go to an elderly home. So she has been living on her own for a few years now, she told me that sometimes she feel bored and lonely at home because she doesn’t have a companion. I feel her because I feel like I am in the same situation just many years younger. I often cry in my car after I leave from her house. I know we all got to face this someday.

So I guess you already know what I want to say here, that life is long (well, sometimes short) and we must learn how to be alone, enjoy our own company and enjoy solitude.

I recently read a book called “L’art de la simplicite”. It says to expect nothing from others, and don’t count on others in order to be happy. It sounds easy but it is actually hard to do in life. I am glad that reading can bring me some answers to life.

 

Have you been the lowest point of your life? Do you mind to share with the community so we can share some positive thoughts on how we can come out of it? Any comments are precious to me!